As I mark 15 years since my breast cancer diagnosis, I consider why I’m still reluctant to call myself a cancer survivor.
Welcome to the 168th edition of The Sunday Spark, a series with weekly thoughts and highlights, nuggets of learning, and a quote of the week. Along with thoughts on being a cancer survivor, this week’s edition looks at how heat pumps boost the value of your home, how France is reimagining volunteering, and Oakville’s role in the Underground Railroad.
On my mind this week: Can I call myself a cancer survivor?
Fifteen years ago today, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It sounds cliché but where did the time go? In some ways, it feels like yesterday since I heard the dreaded words. On the other hand, it feels like it happened in another lifetime to a different Michelle.
A milestone like this one always sparks reflection. On Friday, I updated and republished my 10 years, 10 lessons post about how cancer changed me for the better. Those lessons continue to shape the person I am today.
I’ve always been reluctant to call myself a cancer survivor. In the early days, it felt like tempting fate. Even 15 years later, I hesitate before I use the term. I read somewhere, in the weeks after my diagnosis, that anyone who can pick themselves up and carry on with life after being told they have cancer is a survivor no matter what the outcome. That may be true, but cancer survivor is still a term I don’t feel comfortable with.
The thing with breast cancer is, unlike many other forms of cancer, the risk of recurrence is there even 15 years later. When I reached the five year mark after my diagnosis, the oncologist said “We hardly ever see a recurrence after five years.” I suppose hardly ever will have to be good enough.
Above all, I just feel grateful
It’s rare for a day to go by without me thinking about my cancer experience even for a fleeting moment. I don’t dwell on it, but I think it will always be there in the back of my mind.
I couldn’t let today pass without reflecting on the immense sense of gratitude I feel that I’m still here enjoying life.
In the early days after my diagnosis, I prayed I would live to see my girls grow up. I’ve done that and the girls who were 8 and 11 years old at the time of my diagnosis are now strong independent young women.
Since celebrating 10 years cancer free in 2021, I’ve celebrated my 60th birthday, our 30th wedding anniversary, served as President of my professional association, certified as a retirement coach, and retired from my full-time job. I’ve travelled to England, Ireland, California, Vancouver Island, Las Vegas—not to mention several trips to British Columbia and Prince Edward Island to visit my daughters.
I’m grateful for my health and for every day I get to spend on this planet. I may never be comfortable calling myself a cancer survivor, but the experience taught me life is to be cherished, celebrated and—above all—not taken for granted.
Here’s to the next 15 years!
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Three highlights of the week
It’s important to celebrate big milestones and simple pleasures in life. Keeping the trend going, here are three highlights and simple pleasures of the week gone by:
- On Sunday, we did a video call with Laura and Colleen for Father’s Day. It’s not the same as being together but still good to catch up with them.
- On Wednesday, I went out for the latest instalment in our ABC lunch series with my high school girlfriends. K is for Kerr Street Café in Oakville. After lunch, we went for a lovely walk along the lakeshore in Oakville. We wrapped up the afternoon with tea and treats in the town square.
- My tomato plants loved the rain this week. They are flowering and I see some tomatoes on one of the plants already.
Things I learned this week
Life is all about learning. Here are three things I learned this week:
A heat pump boosts your home’s value
In our walks around the neighbourhood, we’re starting to see more heat pumps. These all-electric units provide both heating and cooling, and are a greener alternative to gas furnaces.
Although costlier to install than conventional furnaces, heat pumps deliver cost savings over the long run. And new information from the USA shows homes with heat pumps sold for a 4% to 7% premium over similar residences without heat pumps.
(Source: Canary Media)
France reinvents volunteering
Like many countries, France has seen a decline in volunteering in recent years. People want to help but aren’t willing to make an ongoing time commitment. The French decided to take a new approach.
Enter L’Heure Civique (Civic Hour). The program asks people to simply volunteer for at least an hour each month in their communities. This could be tending to someone’s garden, delivering groceries, taking someone to a medical appointment, or helping kids with homework.
(Source: Reasons to be Cheerful)
Oakville and the Underground Railroad
After our lunch on Wednesday, we went to the Oakville Museum at the Erchless Estate on the shore of Lake Ontario. Prominent shipping merchant Col. Robert Chisholm built the estate in the 1830s. In addition to the being the Chisholm family residence, the site served as post office, Customs House, and a branch of the Bank of Toronto.
As Customs Collector, Chisholm played a key role in the Underground Railroad by smuggling African American slaves into Canada in crates onboard his cargo ships.
Some of today’s business leaders could learn a lot from Chisholm, who put himself at risk to help others.
Quote of the week
Cancer survivors are blessed with two lives. There is your life before cancer, and your life after. I am here to tell you your second life is going to be so much better than the first.
Hoda Kotb
I’d love to hear what you think about any of this week’s topics. Drop me a comment below and let me know your thoughts and ideas.
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no one likes to think about the not being a survivor part. it’s emotionally a lot
you are a survivor. you don’t have to say this out loud, but you are. it’s also ok.to.be ambivalent about using the term. the only thing that matters is that you are strong.
Thanks, LA. It’s weird how the term still feels strange to me after all these years. When my daughter was in high school, she was on the organizing committee for the Relay for Life—a fundraiser for the Canadian Cancer Society. She asked me to go and walk in the survivor lap to kick off the relay. It felt surreal to be there, almost like I didn’t belong.