This week on Simple Living Sunday, it’s time to get real. Authenticity seems to be an increasingly rare quality in our world, with people constantly trying to impress and live up to other people’s standards. Today, we’ll look at why being truly authentic is good for your mental health, and small steps you can take to be true to yourself.
With our social media feeds constantly showing the embellished highlight reels of our friends’ lives, it’s easy to see why someone might feel like they don’t measure up. Despite the constant pressure to impress others, the best thing you can do is put aside all the comparisons and just be the greatest version of yourself.
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of someone else.
Judy Garland
We’ll chat more about authenticity in a minute. But first, let’s recap the past week.
Three simple pleasures and highlights
Last week’s simple living theme was beautiful things. Here are three beautiful things from the week gone by.
- We had a nice visit with my Mum last weekend.
- One of my co-workers came back to work after being off for 18 months for cancer treatment.
- The sight of several cardinals at our bird feeder on a snowy morning really lifted my spirits.
This week’s simple living focus: Being truly authentic
If you asked me to define my core values, authenticity would be pretty high on the list. I’m an honest, what-you-see-is-what-you-get, kind of person. I don’t have the energy or the desire to try to be something I’m not. But it took me many years to get to that point.
When I was younger, I worried constantly about what other people thought of me. Thank goodness I grew up before social media because repeatedly seeing images of beautiful people showing off their seemingly-perfect lives would have been too much for me in those days. I can see how damaging that can be to young people who see every party they didn’t get invited to, and every made-up selfie posted by acquaintances.
In fact, FOMO (fear of missing out) is contributing to lower self-esteem, trouble with sleep, and anxiety in our young people according to countless studies, including one from the University of Glasgow.
Maybe it’s the wisdom of age, but I decided long ago to stop trying to impress others by pretending to be something I’m not. I don’t have the time for that and, quite honestly, anyone who can’t accept me as I am doesn’t belong in my life.
Authenticity is about being true to who you are, even when everyone around you wants you to be someone else.
Michael Jordan
There will always be someone to criticize how you look, how you speak, what you wear, and the things you have—or don’t have. Sometimes that criticism is well-meaning and constructive. Often, it comes from the critic’s own insecurity, or their need to feel superior.
So, what can we do to be a little more real and truly authentic?
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Three things to do this week
Being truly authentic comes down to being comfortable in your own skin. It isn’t something that happens overnight. If this is a problem area for you, here are three things to try this week to get you just a little bit closer.
Reflect on your values
A best first step is to take some time to define your values. Think about what really matters to you.
This can be a difficult task if you’ve spent your life trying to please others. Here’s a little exercise to get the thought process going.
If your doctor told you tomorrow you had just two years to live, how would you spend your remaining time? What would you do or not do? Who would you spend your time with? Would you have any regrets?
This may feel like a morbid exercise, but putting yourself in that situation is the best way to get to the core of what really matters to you.
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.
Steve Jobs
Be selective about what you say yes to
Now that you’ve given some thought to your values, start putting them into practice.
When someone asks you to do something, get into the habit of asking yourself if it aligns with your values. If it doesn’t, respectfully decline if you can. The same principle applies to how you choose to spend your money. Will that product or service really change your life or move you closer to your goals? If not, you probably don’t need it.
Now, this sounds great but, when it comes to our jobs, we all have to do things we don’t want to. But if your job constantly puts you in conflict with your core values, maybe it’s time to consider a career change.
We need to find the courage to say no to the things and people who are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and life our lives with authenticity.
Barbara De Angelis
Flex your honesty muscle
Honesty is a huge part of being truly authentic. If you’re a people pleaser, you might be tempted to tell little white lies to avoid hurting others’ feelings. This week, try to be a little more honest in those situations.
Being honest may not get you many friends, but it’ll always get you the right ones.
John Lennon
If people ask for your opinion, give it—tactfully, of course. The people who matter will respect you for it. If they don’t, maybe they don’t really matter.
It’s time to stop comparing ourselves to others and just be real. It’s your life after all.
Do you have any other tips for being your authentic self? Tell me your ideas below.
I love this post so much! It’s a really great reminder. I have a potential transition and big decisions coming up with respects to work and these were helpful things to reflect on 🙂
Thank you so much. Good luck with your reflections and decisions!
Michelle – Great Post! Your suggestion about the workplace is very familiar to me. I was once advised to leave a job, but it was the toxic people not the job so I stayed. Eventually I didn’t fit in with them and they asked me to leave. Best thing that ever happened to me – almost.
The same principle could be applied to young people who get in with the wrong crowd. They need to leave them behind and find better friends. Hard to do I know.
It is hard to move on but sometimes it’s for the best. When I started at my current employer, I remember making jokes and trying to have fun. Oh the looks I got! I came from a company where we were always playing practical jokes on each other so I really wondered if the move had been a mistake. I stuck it out and eventually people lightened up.
Laughter is infectious. Good for you.😃
I love your introduction for this blog post, especially about being the greatest version of yourself – wise words.
Thank you for saying that it took you many years to get to the point of self-acceptance. I try to be my authentic self, but the opinions of others can sometimes make me want to hide. I know that social media is a highlight reel of the best moments, and you should be proud of who you are, but that little voice at the back of your head that wants you to compare yourself to others is sometimes too loud to subdue. I am working on not listening to that voice and following what you said, ‘being the greatest version of myself’.
I love your outlook and authenticity! Thank you for sharing your tips on how to be truly authentic. I will remember that last piece of knowledge; it is my life, not someone else’s.
I really enjoyed reading this blog post; thank you for sharing. 😁
Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment. I think there’s so much pressure to conform and be like everyone else. But true peace and happiness comes when you can say “To heck with everyone else. I’m happy being me!” I still have moments of doubt but they’re fewer and farther between than they used to be.
I have to admit that I have to stop myself from feeling envious of others on social media.
It is about appreciating how far we have individually come and focusing on our own life’s journey.
It is hard but I’ve learned that people only post what they want us to see. We don’t know what’s going on behind the beautiful pictures. I agree that we have to acknowledge our wins and our own journey. Thanks for reading and commenting.