Do you have a best friend at work? Why does that even matter? Today’s post is about the importance of work relationships. I’ll provide some tips for building good work relationships, and how you can maintain work connections in a remote or hybrid work environment.

This post was originally published in June 2020 and updated in April 2023.

In Reflections on 30 years in the group retirement business, I shared some words of wisdom for someone starting their career. In addition to reminiscing about some of the changes I’ve seen in the workplace, I highlighted six tips for success at work…and in life.

Many people who read my reflections told me they enjoyed my perspective on work, life and leadership so I decided to take a closer look at each of the six tips, starting with one I believe is too often overlooked by leaders.

Here’s what I had to say on the topic of work relationships in my previous post…

Relationships matter more than the work. Years from now, you will forget all the details of the projects you worked on or the work that you did. You will remember the people and the relationships you built.

Michelle, Boomer Eco Crusader

Reflecting on the importance of strong connections with co-workers

We hear this a lot and it’s true. We spend more time with our co-workers than our families. Getting along with people at work is key to happiness and success on the job.

In 2019, the company I work for offered an early retirement incentive program. Over the course of a year, I attended several retirement parties for some long-time colleagues. Without exception, every one of these successful, accomplished people talked about the importance of people and relationships in the workplace.

At one time, socializing on the job was discouraged by bosses who thought fun in the workplace would hamper productivity. Thankfully times have changed and we’re starting to hear more about the connection between workplace culture and relationships and employee engagement and productivity.

What is a best friend at work?

A few years ago, my employer changed to a new provider for our annual employee engagement survey. The new provider, Gallup, asked this question in the survey: “Do you have a best friend at work?” I have a lot of friends at work but I’m not sure I would call any of them my best friends. I honestly wasn’t quite sure how to answer the question and it turned out I wasn’t the only one. When our team met to debrief on our results, we had a lot of discussion about that question and there were many different interpretations.

The conclusion we came to was a best friend at work is someone you trust and can talk to, confide in, even vent your frustrations to when needed. In short, it’s someone who has your back.

Whether you like the wording of the question or not, I think we all need to know there’s someone at work who will be there for us.

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The link between relationships and performance

It turns out Gallup, our employee engagement survey provider, has been asking the best friend at work question for 30 years. Over those years, they have discovered a strong link between having a best friend at work and performance on the job. Here are some of their findings.

• Women who strongly agree that they have a best friend at work are more than twice as likely to be engaged in their work.
• For both women and men, having a best friend at work leads to better performance.
• Increasing the score in this area can lead to fewer safety incidents, more engaged customers, and higher profits.
• Individuals who strongly agree they have a best friend at work are more likely to answer positively on other key engagement factors. They say that someone at work encourages their development, are more likely to report that someone at work has talked to them about their progress in the last six months, and more likely to feel that their opinions seem to count at work.

The value of positive friendships at work

I’ve worked with a lot of people over my career. When I look back, the most memorable accomplishments were with teams that I felt a strong social connection with. Teams where we worked hard but took the time to get to know each other and have fun. I really believe that strong social connections at work breed success.

I’ve been through a lot with many of the people I would consider my best friends at work. We’ve celebrated work accomplishments, promotions and retirements together. We have supported each other through marriages, divorces, births, adoptions, illnesses and even deaths.

Tips for building good work relationships

Like any good relationship, workplace connections don’t just happen. They take a bit of effort. Here are some ideas on how to build work relationships:

• Take an interest in your co-workers as people. Ask them about their kids, pets, and hobbies.
• Make time to have lunch or coffee together. It’s easy to get busy and let this slip so you might need to make it a priority or it won’t happen.
• Be open to diverse opinions. We’re hearing a lot about diversity lately. Ask people about their experiences and seek to learn from them.
• Suggest doing something fun together or working on a shared cause. Volunteering or joining a charity event are great ways to get to know people.
• Show your appreciation. Send a personal note to say thank you or just let someone know how much you value them.
• Offer to help with a work task they are having a hard time with.
• When things go wrong, and we know they will, avoid blaming and finger pointing.
• Be open and honest. If you have an issue, talk to the person involved.

Maintaining relationships in a virtual workplace

It may be more challenging to do some of these things with so many people working remotely, but it’s not impossible. I have primarily worked from home for many years. It is possible to stay connected when you aren’t in the same physical location. Here are a few ideas to try:

• Book a virtual lunch or coffee chat.
• Plan some virtual social gatherings. These work best if you plan them around an activity like a game so everyone feels they can participate. Otherwise, you run the risk of the same people doing all the talking.
• Take advantage of networking tools and social platforms like Teams, Yammer and Slack to share pictures and updates. You can also get some fun conversations going like “What’s on my work-from-home playlist” or “Shows I’m binge-watching right now”.

Although the work environment during the pandemic was challenging, one positive thing I noticed is we got a glimpse into the lives of our co-workers. We saw and heard their kids, pets, and partners during conference calls. There’s no better opening to connect with someone on a more personal level.

Don’t burn your bridges

We know that work relationships aren’t all rosy. Let’s face it, we’ve all worked with people who aren’t very nice. The one piece of advice I have on that front is—don’t burn your bridges. While it may be tempting to give that boss or co-worker a piece of your mind on the way out the door, you never know where that person might turn up again in the future. I have seen it happen. It’s not worth the brief moment of satisfaction you get from unloading on them.

Workplace friendships make work fun

Relationships and a sense of belonging are a part of work culture that we shouldn’t underestimate. I have been very fortunate to work with amazing people over the years. Can you imagine going to a workplace every day where there is no fun, laughter or friendship? I don’t know about you but that’s not someplace I want to work!

(See 25 easy ways to have fun at work for ideas on how to bring some fun into your workplace.)

Tell me what you think? How important is it to have a best friend at work? Drop me a comment below and join the conversation.