And just like that, it’s May! In North America, May is a big month for moms as we celebrate Mother’s Day. In honour of my mum, I chose five Simple Living Sunday themes for May that remind me of her. I’m kicking things off today with a look at caring for others, and how it can be a form of self care.

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.

Mahatma Gandhi

Three simple pleasures and highlights

Continuing my practice of celebrating the simple things in life, here are three simple pleasures and highlights of the last week.

• Sunday was an amazing day here, with the temperature reaching the low 20’s (Celsius). It felt so good to get outside. And, I was even able to dry some laundry outside on the line for the first time this year.
• My daughter Laura got her final semester marks and she is graduating with honours. Colleen also got great marks in her first semester of college. I am so proud of my two smart girls!
• I had Thursday and Friday off work, so Colleen and I went out and enjoyed a long walk on our neighbourhood trails on both days.

This week’s simple living focus: Caring for others as a form of self care

What do you think of when you hear the term self care? It has turned into a bit of an overused buzz word. Self care can take many forms, but you might be surprised to learn that caring for others can be a form of self care.

Let’s talk about my mum for a minute. She’s one of the most inspiring people I know. At 89, she’s a bundle of energy. Interestingly, she has spent her whole life caring for others. In fact, we lovingly call her “St. Frances of Cambridge.”

When my dad was ill, mum looked after him for several years. After he died, we were concerned that she’d be a bit lost. We needn’t have worried. She carried on acting as caregiver for friends at church, other relatives, and anyone who needed a helping hand. During my cancer treatment, she dropped by every Friday to clean my house and make me lunch. Even after my treatments were finished, she continued to show up every week. When I told her she didn’t have to do it any more, she said, “Oh I don’t mind. It keeps me busy.”    

The helper’s high

Last week, we talked about how random acts of kindness are strongly associated with overall wellbeing. To take that a little further, research shows that people who regularly volunteer or act in a helping capacity have lower rates of depression and higher quality of life. This helper’s high has been well documented in research studies over the last 40 years.

It’s an interesting thought but it makes sense when you think about it. Caring for others can strengthen relationships, give the carer a sense of purpose, and it can also serve as a reminder to be grateful for the good things in life. I have to admit I rarely see my mum in a bad mood so I think these researchers are on to something.

If you light a lamp for someone else, it will also brighten your path.

Buddha

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Three things to do this week

So, how can you experience the helper’s high? Here are three ideas.

Make a list of all the ways you care for others

Start by making a list of all the ways you care for others in your day-to-day life. Include everything, no matter how small it seems.

Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you.

Mother Teresa

Reflect on how caring makes you feel

With your list in hand, think about how each of those activities makes you feel. Highlight those that give you the biggest boost. Consider if you can find more time for these mood-boosting activities.

Look after yourself too

Finally, while caring for others can increase our overall wellbeing, it can also take an emotional toll, especially when there’s no end in sight. Caregiver burnout is a real concern so it’s important to know your limits and take a break when you need to. HelpGuide offers some resources to help caregivers avoid stress and burnout.

My mum is living proof of the value of caregiving. I often say I want to be just like her when I grow up!

Do you agree that caregiving has a positive impact on our wellbeing? Tell me your thoughts below.