Acceptable workplace behaviour – then and now

Acceptable Workplace Behaviour - Then and Now
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Acceptable workplace behaviour – then and now

While decluttering my basement, I found a book from 1990 on workplace etiquette. As I thumbed through it, I realized how acceptable workplace behaviour has changed through the years. Some of the passages literally made me laugh out loud. Others made me realize that, although we still have work to do, we have come a long way in terms of gender equity in the workplace.

Some of the suggestions on dress code, grooming, social functions, and male-female dynamics stood out to me as I re-read the book. I hope you’ll enjoy the trip down memory lane.

This post was originally published in August 2020 and updated in June 2023.

Where did this book even come from?

I’m not sure where the book came from. It may have been a giveaway from a speaker at a work conference back in the 1990s. The title of the book is The Polished Image – A Concise Guide to Your Personal and Corporate Image by Emily A.N. McLean.

When it was published 30 years ago, it would have been a great resource. In fact, I had highlighted and flagged some pages when I first read it. The book covers everything from etiquette on introductions, to dressing for business, mealtime manners and business entertaining. It even gets into the highly-charged issue of sexual harassment.

I picked out a few quotes from the book to highlight just how much has changed since the 90s.

Dressing for business

In Reflections on 30 years in the group retirement business, I spoke of some of the changes in office dress that I’ve seen in my career. A good portion of the book is dedicated to dressing for success, which is an ever-evolving area.

Jeans

Thirty years ago, everyone dressed up for work every day. A “jeans day” was a rare treat. As recently as 20 years ago, one of my former bosses got herself in hot water when she approved a jeans day for our team. At the time, we had four casual days a year and, despite the fact that it was the busiest day of the year, this day wasn’t one of them. My boss had to explain herself to our head of H.R.

In addition to deeming jeans as inappropriate work attire, the book goes so far as to say jeans are a no-no at work social functions.

NEVER WEAR JEANS unless the host or hostess specifically mentions that jeans can be worn.

These days, our office, like many others, has adopted a very casual dress code. Acceptable dress on any given day is based on what we have on our calendars. For most of us, every day is jeans day unless we have meetings with clients.

With more of us living in yoga pants as we work from home, we’ve started to consider putting on a pair of jeans as dressing up. Will this result in another shift in standard workplace attire? Time will tell.

Accessories for men

I’m no expert on men’s fashion but a few things stood out to me in the book.

The selection of socks is fairly straightforward: they should match the colour of the pants worn.

I don’t pay too much attention to my co-workers’ socks. But, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen many men wear patterned and coloured socks in the office.

A good quality, analog wristwatch is much preferred over a digital watch.

This one is bizarre. Why the preference for an analog watch? Would a digital watch give the impression that the wearer doesn’t know how to tell time the old-fashioned way? I did wonder what the author would think of the fitness trackers and smart watches that are part of most men’s office attire these days.

Don’t wear white shoes before late May or after Labour Day.

I’ve never bought into the “no white after Labour Day” rule for women’s fashion. The practical side of me says it makes more sense to dress for the weather rather than the calendar. But this was in the men’s accessories section of the book. Have you ever seen a man wear white dress shoes in the office? Even 30 years ago, the only guy I recall wearing white shoes in the office was Herb Tarlek on reruns of WKRP in Cincinnati—and he had the white belt to match!

Women’s clothing

Moving on to women’s clothing, the book suggests women should downplay their attractiveness.

When dressing for work, women have a decision to make: whether to dress in a manner that compliments their business-like image, or that emphasizes their attractiveness. The former usually leads to success, the latter to failure.

I hope we have since proven that women, and men, can be both attractive and successful. In fact, this article in Harvard Business Review states that attractive people are more likely to get interviewed, hired, promoted and earn more money than their less attractive counterparts. 

Focus on quiet or neutral colours, avoiding distracting, bright prints.

As I read this, I recalled a presentation on dressing for success about 15 years ago at a sales conference at work. The presenter showed pictures of people dressed for work and asked us to critique them. One of the pictures was a young woman wearing a dress with a red trench coat. I thought she looked very professional but the presenter said, “That red coat is far too flashy for a conservative business like financial services.” Taking a quick glance at the back of my chair, I felt relieved I had left my hot pink raincoat in the car. I didn’t want my picture showing up in her next presentation.

Needless to say, I didn’t immediately go home and throw out my colourful clothes.

The pantsuit, although acceptable, is an outfit that I would advise against wearing unless you are very sure it is appropriate for the situation.

When I was in high school, my typing teacher told us not to wear pants on our first day at a new job. If we noticed other women wearing pants when we arrived, then it was okay. Truthfully, for as long as I can remember, dress pants and pant suits have been perfectly acceptable office attire for women. When I read this, I had to double check that the book had been published in 1990 and not 1950.


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Grooming

The book had a lot of dos and don’ts on the grooming front. Most of them were common sense and continue to apply today. Keeping in line with the idea that women should dress in quiet, neutral colours, there were specific guidelines for nail polish, and hair colouring.

Nail polish should be a neutral shade, preferably clear in colour.

Hair colouring is acceptable but it should be of a neutral tone.

I love colour, so I’m glad this has changed. These days, the brighter and bolder the better. It’s not uncommon to see pink, purple and blue hair in the workplace. It’s great that people feel free to express their individuality.

But there was one statement in the book for both men and women that I wholeheartedly endorse…

Do NOT apply too much fragrance.

I remember the days when people came into the office smelling like they had bathed in their cologne. As someone who is sensitive to strong scents, I’m happy to see this advice finally seems to be catching on, with most companies having scent awareness policies.

acceptable-workplace-behaviour-then-and-now

Smoking etiquette

When I first started working, people smoked at their desks. Then, they got smokeless ashtrays at their desks. After a while, smokers were banished to an enclosed indoor smoking area. Today, most workplaces and public places ban smoking outright.

The book doesn’t speak to smoking in the office but does suggest the following if you are invited to a social function at a co-worker’s house:

If you do not see an ashtray but have a strong desire to smoke, ask permission before lighting a cigarette.

This was normal behaviour in the 1990s. My husband and I are non-smokers but we did allow smoking in our house until our oldest daughter was born. Then, I remember feeling awkward asking people to go outside to smoke. Now, I can’t imagine someone coming to my house and asking for an ashtray or just lighting up a cigarette.

Sexual harassment

The last section of the book deals with male-female interactions and sexual harassment in the workplace.

Women should accept compliments about their figure or dress in a gracious manner.

What? I had to read this a couple of times to let it sink in.

There’s nothing wrong with complimenting what someone is wearing but it is never okay to make comments, good or bad, about their figure. “That’s a really nice dress”, or “I like that colour on you”, is not the same as “Your boobs look great in that blouse”.

There were also some interesting comments about dealing with unwanted sexual advances.

Women should not think that they can make an issue of sexual advances; they should just know how to handle them.

Sadly, the message to women when I started my career was to not make waves if we wanted to keep our jobs. I hoped my daughters would grow up in a different world, but the high profile of the Me-Too movement over the last couple of years has highlighted that this kind of behaviour still exists in many workplaces.

It’s a different world but we’re not there yet

I’m happy that the working world has evolved, and we can feel more confident expressing our personality through hair colour, clothing choices and body art. It would be very boring working in a place where everyone wore shades of black, white, grey and brown.

But there’s still work to be done.

At the company I work for, one of our corporate values is Share Your Humanity, meaning we are encouraged to bring our whole selves to work. Male, female or transgender; black, white or indigenous; gay, straight or queer; all employees are free to express their individuality without fear of discrimination. We no longer need to hide things that were once taboo. This has been such a refreshing change.

I applaud some of the progress we’ve made but we still have a long way to go in some areas. If this post is shared in 30 years, I hope the next generation will have seen an end to the discriminatory practices that remain!

What changes would you like to see in the workplace? Tell us about them below.

Hi there! I’m Michelle and I live in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada. I am married with two young adult daughters. I’m a big fan of reducing waste, using less plastic, decluttering and simplifying life as much as possible.

16 thoughts on “Acceptable workplace behaviour – then and now

  1. Wow! You’re right, it does show how far we have come as a society.

    I absolutely CANNOT imagine reading these quotes and being expected to follow them…

    “Women should accept compliments about their figure or dress in a gracious manner.”

    “Women should not think that they can make an issue of sexual advances; they should just know how to handle them.”

    Very eye opening post!

    1. I lived through those times and I find it hard to believe. I had actually forgotten about some of these things until I found the book. Even though we still have work to do, we should celebrate how far we’ve come.

  2. Those were the days! OMG! Smoking at our desks!! High heels, pantyhose,UGH! Stinky perfume reminds me the men did bathe in cologne! Perfume brings one name to my mind: Hazel Pomfret !
    She was a dear, sweet Lady. Thanks for sharing Michelle.

  3. WOW!! We’ve come a long way baby!,but a ways to go yet! ! The smoking at our desks I crack-up BLOL! The fish Bowl smoking room! Perfume? One word – Hazel Pomfret ! Lovely lady, but perfume, WOW! Interesting reading!

  4. This was such an interesting post to read! Definitely pinning it 🙂 I’m actually quite upset with the fact women were expected to just let go of harassment or dress appropriately! So glad for recent times even though things are necessarily perfect.

    1. It was a different time and it is quite unbelievable when you think about it now. I think we’ve made a lot of progress although we still have work to be done. The good news now is women can usually speak out without fear of repercussions. It didn’t used to be that way.

  5. I’m genuinely shocked where it says women should graciously accept compliments and not make a fuss if sexually harassed!
    I’m glad times are changing. 😀

  6. These are great, Michelle (and eye-openers, that’s for sure!) I think personal cell phone use in the workplace (when using it loudly) should be addressed if it hasn’t been already. A few years ago I worked with someone who actually put a client on hold so they could answer their cell; if it had been an important call then I’m all for it. But in this case, the coworker spoke LOUDLY to her mother about what to bring for dinner that weekend. Sadly, it wasn’t a one-off.

    Oh my gosh, the cologne! Another place I used to work employed someone who delighted in spraying himself with the cologne, “Polo;” strongest cologne ever! His assistant used to leave his office and make funny faces, telling the rest of us she could taste it just by being in his office for a minute or two! Leave the cologne in the bottle…..at home! LOL

    1. Good point about the cell phones. That wasn’t an issue in 1990. LOL

      Yes, I remember Polo…and Drakkar Noir. On that front, I actually think the men were worse than women in those days. I once had an allergic reaction to a co-worker’s perfume and had to ask her not to wear it any more. She felt horrible when I told her. It literally gave me a splitting headache and made me feel sick.

      1. Oh my gosh! Yes, I remember the Drakkar Noir as well! I agree! Did you? Thank goodness she reacted that way so you didn’t have to worry about a splitting headache and feeling sick! Yikes!

I'd love to hear your ideas. Drop me a comment below.

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