FOMO (fear of missing out)—it’s a term we hear all the time, but do you ever wonder why it has emerged as a big thing over the last few years? Today’s Simple Living Sunday post looks at the rise of FOMO and how you can say bye-bye to the stress of FOMO and hello to JOMO, its younger and brighter cousin.
No matter what you do or where you are, you’re going to be missing out on something.
Alan Arkin
Three simple pleasures and highlights
Continuing my practice of celebrating the simple things in life, here are three simple pleasures and highlights of the last week.
- Last weekend, I had a couple of big post-pandemic firsts. I visited Toronto for the first time in over two years. While I was there, I went out to a concert with my daughter Laura. It was a beautiful day for a walk by the lake, and so amazing to experience live music.
- My tomato and pepper plants are now growing quite well and are looking healthy. The potatoes in the garden are also looking good.
- On our walks this week, we’ve seen quite a few rabbits. They disappeared for a while so it’s good that they are back.
This week’s simple living focus: Step aside FOMO! Make room for JOMO!
I had never heard of FOMO until a few short years ago. The idea of feeling like you’re missing out isn’t new but, until a few years ago, there wasn’t a word for it because it really wasn’t a big problem. So what has changed? Why did FOMO become such a big deal?
I’m going to go out on a limb here and blame social media. There’s an old saying that ignorance is bliss. When I look at how social media has changed our lives, I have to agree. There are a lot of things I love about social media, but there’s a lot to dislike, too.
Before Facebook was a thing
Let’s get in our time machine and go back in time to the days before social media. It’s not that long ago, really. Facebook changed our online lives forever, but it has only been around since 2004. In human terms, it’s just reaching adulthood this year.
Before social media, if my friend bought a new car, a new house, or went out for a fancy meal, it’s unlikely I’d even know about it. I rarely saw pictures of that fabulous vacation my third cousin went on. I never felt insecure seeing pictures of friends who got all glammed up just to take a selfie to post online, and reading all the comments about how beautiful they were. And I’m pretty sure there were LOTS of parties I didn’t get invited to, but I rarely heard about them. Ignorance was definitely bliss.
It’s no wonder anxiety and other mental health issues are on the rise. We might be tempted to blame the pandemic for a lot of things, but FOMO and our addiction to our devices and social media feeds were a thing long before 2020.
Don’t believe everything you see
The sad part is—much of what we see on social media is fake or, at the very least, embellished to make us think things are more wonderful than they really are. And many of our online “friends” are acquaintances at best—people we’d probably never even be in touch with if we didn’t see them online. So, why do we care enough to constantly measure ourselves against them?
You should never feel like you’re missing out. There’s so much more than those fake-a** Instagram people.
Chrissy Tiegen
If you’re suffering from FOMO, there is hope. It’s time to meet FOMO’s younger and brighter cousin. Let me introduce you to JOMO!
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Step aside FOMO! Make room for JOMO!
JOMO stands for the JOY of missing out. Yes, that’s right, instead of worrying that you’re missing out on something, JOMO involves learning to say no. From deliberately stepping away from notifications and social media feeds, to saying no to social invitations, JOMO lets you live in the moment so you can take care of the person who matters most—you!
Embracing JOMO lets you shut out all the noise and make the most of what’s happening right now. It can help you enjoy the beauty of your surroundings, and the people around you, without constant interruptions from smartphone notifications. And, it can help you free up time to do things you like to do—listen to music, read a book, or just get outside and breathe some fresh air.
Three things to do this week
Are you ready to kick FOMO to the curb and embrace JOMO? Here are three things to do this week to make it happen.
JOMO is choosing to ignore the Joneses (NOT just NOT keep up).
Richie Norton
Limit your time online
Do you find yourself grabbing your phone every time it buzzes because you can’t resist knowing what’s going on? And how often is that notification about something important? Not very often, right?
Consider a social media detox for a day, a weekend, or even during your week’s vacation. If you’re not ready to go cold turkey with social media, put a time limit on the time you spend scrolling through your feed every day.
You’ll find this easier if you turn off non-critical notifications on your phone or tablet. That means all social media, news feeds, games, and even email. Even better, put your phone on do not disturb. If you’re worried about missing an urgent text from a family member or a call from your child’s school, you can turn on emergency bypass for high-priority contacts so you’ll still be notified even if your phone is on do not disturb.
Practise gratitude
One of the fundamental things about JOMO is living in the moment and not worrying about what else is going on. There’s no better way to achieve that than being thankful.
Gratitude is a practice that can make a huge difference in your life. If you get into the habit of being truly grateful for what you have, you won’t need to worry about FOMO. Sometimes, it’s as simple as reminding yourself that you have enough and don’t need to constantly chase the next thing.
And if you haven’t been keeping up with your gratitude journalling, this might be a good week to start again.
Say no to things that don’t matter…and let go of the guilt
Finally, embracing JOMO is all about knowing what’s important to you and saying no to everything else.
If you’ve been invited to a social event but you’d rather stay home and read a book, just say no. And, above all, don’t feel guilty about saying no. Remember, if you don’t take care of your own needs, who will?
It’s time to take back control of our lives and embrace JOMO. Our mental health depends on it.
What kinds of things make you suffer from FOMO? Do you think JOMO is the answer? Tell me your thoughts below.
That Alan Arkin quote was exactly what I needed today, because I’ve entered a phase where everything I’m doing in the current moment is not important enough. As if there’s always something more important I need to be doing. Thanks for this. Time to embrace JOMO!
Thanks for dropping by Stuart. It is interesting when you look at it that way. We can’t possibly do everything and, if we try, we’ll just burn out. So, why not just enjoy the moment and what we are doing instead of worrying about everything else?
I never could relate to people who felt FOMO… I can honestly say I hardly ever feel that… when people started talking about JOMO I thought, this is more me! I often am jealous of those who do exactly what they want or “miss” out on the “supposed” fun… I’m that person who gets excited when plans get cancellllled!!! Because I am also the person who says yes to things that I don’t really feel like doing but say yes anyway and then when the event rolls around I then feel obligated to go and dread it quite a bit!
I love your tips and totally live by them – it’s one of the reasons why I quit social media for the most part… I hated seeing those reels of perfection and I often practice gratitude in order to keep steady perspective! Great post, Michelle!
I used to feel FOMO when I was much younger, but we didn’t have a name for it then. Like you, I enjoy having time to just “be”. I think that’s why I didn’t mind many of the pandemic restrictions. I missed travelling and some of the family gatherings, but I did enjoy more time at home at a less frantic pace.
I hadn’t heard of JOMO before but I do embrace what it represents. There is no need to catch up with everything all the time. Slowing down our rythms and focusing on what is more important like ourselves and our needs I think is the answer. Thank you for introducing me to a new concept Michelle!
Thanks Eri. JOMO is a great concept that I wasn’t familiar with until I started to research this post. There’s a lot to be said for slowing down and saying no to some things.
You’re right we compare our happiness on social media without realizing that we have much more around us. We should not fall for the fake images that celebrities put on their social walls as we never know the secret behind them.
Good to hear you enjoyed the concert with your daughter and saw those rabbits.
Thanks Ritish! It is so easy to fall into the trap of focusing on external things, instead of what is right in front of us.
Yes Michelle, comparison can only make us anxious.
I love this! I’ve never heard of “JOMO” — did you coin the phrase? For me, I don’t have any social media accounts except for my blog (I guess that counts?) and my Pinterest account for the blog (which I should delete because I have zero success with it!). I did Instagram for a year for a previous blog I wrote, and it drove me nuts with dopamine hits. I had to delete it — whether it was good for the blog or not. That’s kind of how my new blog about small things came about. I wanted to write about seeing the extraordinary in the ordinary. Great post!
I wish I could take credit for JOMO. I stumbled across it when searching for FOMO quotes for this post but I love the concept.
I deleted my blog Instagram earlier this year. Too much work with no benefit. I have had a lot of success with Pinterest and I find consistency is key to bringing traffic.
I do take off a day here and there and when I’m on holiday. I have been on work meals where photos were taken and put on Facebook. I found that really annoying!
I’ve never heard of ‘JOMO.’ What a lovely term.
LOL. I have never understood the need to post photos of restaurant meals on social media. I agree, JOMO is a wonderful philosophy that we could all benefit from.
Love it! I live for the JOMO! So many things I don’t want to do and am not going to do just because I ought to or it would look good.
That’s great. I’m very much the same way. I don’t feel obligated to accept every invitation.
This is the first time I ever read/heard of FOMO. All I have to say is I never worry that I am missing out. If I am not invited somewhere so be it. Someone has a new car good for them. There is by far to many good and interesting things going on that to worry about what is missing seems a little ridiculous to me. Never mind that it has its own acronym. I learned something new from your blog today. 🙂
I honestly had to look FOMO up myself about a year ago. It’s a huge problem, especially with younger people. Personally, I just try to feel gratitude for what I do have instead of always worrying what others are doing.
Me too! And things so not make you happy. They make things easy never happy. 🤗
Love the concept of JOMO! I’ve been social media-free for 4 years now and I am loving it!
Being off social media has helped me better practice mindfulness and finding joy in the present moment (in the real world!). I can remember a couple of years ago I went on vacation with 2 of my friends from school. In my mind this vacation was going to be all about relaxing and having fun. In reality it turned into a vacation from hell as my one friend was treating the vacation as a series of photo-ops for her Instagram account. Restaurant choices were reduced to having to visit places with the best atmosphere for photos. An evening visit to a winery was cut short because “we have to take photos outside the motel while the sun is at the best angle in the sky!” No time for swimming at the beach; photos of us having a picnic at the beach will suffice.
Looking back I feel sorry for my friend because she was more interested in her online/social media world than living in the real world and enjoying the experiences of a vacation.
I also find I enjoy my visits with friends even more now that I don’t know every little detail of their life from scrolling through social media. We always have so much catching up to do!
Thanks Michelle for writing this article and reminding us not to get sucked in to the FOMO culture of social media!
Hi Gabe. Thanks for reading and sharing your story. It’s a shame that many people are like your friend—turning life into Insta-worthy snippets instead of enjoying the moment. I love to capture pictures but I do it to preserve memories for myself and my family and I definitely don’t plan my activities around the photo ops. Sometimes when I’m out enjoying myself, I get to the end of the night and realize I didn’t take a single picture. Those are usually the best times.
Oh, thank you so much, Michelle, for introducing us to JOMO! That was a total new concept to me, and I love it. I notice that when I take my weekends to be offline, I feel so much better, and social media remains fresh and fun. If I don’t do it, I start to feel a bit overwhelmed by it. Practising gratitude and choosing JOMO sound like a perfect way to prevent FOMO!
Thanks Vanessa. JOMO was a new concept to me as well but it makes so much sense. There is so much phoniness and hatred in the online world. We have to limit our exposure. I have stopped looking at what’s “trending” on Twitter. It just makes me angry.