When something doesn’t go how you want it to, what’s your first instinct? If you’re like many people, you’ll dig in and fight to make things the way you want them. But, doing battle takes a ton of energy and rarely changes the outcome. This week’s Simple Living Sunday theme is acceptance. I’m not talking about giving up, but rather knowing when it’s time to make peace with a situation and move on.

The best thing you can do when it is raining is let it rain.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Three simple pleasures and highlights

To be honest, it has been a blah week. My energy levels were pretty low all week and motivation did a disappearing act along with the spring weather we enjoyed last week. But, I still managed to note several simple pleasures and highlights in my journal.

• We had a couple of sunny, spring-like days sandwiched between this week’s helping of snow and freezing rain. Winter doesn’t want to release us from its icy grip.
• I had a great catch-up with one of my co-workers on Friday. We’ve planned a day to meet up in the office in a couple of weeks and we’re going to get some of our teammates together for lunch. It will be so nice to see everyone.
• A new plant I put on my desk a couple of months ago is growing and thriving. I don’t have a lot of luck with desktop plants, mainly because my home office faces north so it doesn’t get a lot of sunlight. Maybe I’ve found one that will work.

The forecast for the coming week looks better so let’s hope my energy returns.

This week’s simple living focus: Finding peace in acceptance

Our society rewards and reveres people who stand up and fight for what they believe in. Some things are worth digging in and fighting for. I would never suggest that we give up and accept the injustice and inequities in our world. People like Nelson Mandela, Malala Yousafzai and Greta Thunberg have inspired action and real change by taking a stand—often at great personal cost.

So we should definitely continue to fight for things worth fighting for. However, for many of the annoyances we put our energy into on a daily basis, we’d be better off to simply accept what’s happening and carry on with life. 

Acceptance isn’t about giving up. It’s about finding a way to move forward in the face of life’s challenges, no matter how difficult. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross first wrote about the five stages of grief in her 1969 book On Death and Dying. Acceptance is the final stage following denial, anger, bargaining and depression.

It’s tough to accept that there are things in life that we can’t control. No matter how carefully we plan, sometimes life throws us a curveball.

Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is, and that there’s got to be a way through it.

Michael J. Fox

This quote from Michael J. Fox really struck a chord with me. It takes me back to my cancer diagnosis in 2011.

In the days immediately following my diagnosis, I went through all five stages of grief. In the end, I realized that I couldn’t change what had happened and the best thing I could do was find a way to get through it. When I reached that point, it gave me such a sense of peace, and it also gave me the strength to put aside the anger and move forward. That is the value of acceptance.

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Three things to do this week

So how can we put aside our anger and frustration and reach acceptance? Here are three ideas to get started.

Pick your battles

None of us have unlimited energy and time to fight everything that comes up in our lives. We have to pick our battles wisely.

In an earlier post about authenticity, I talked about letting your values guide your actions. Knowing your values can help you decide when it’s time to dig in and, more importantly, when it’s time to let go.

This week, when things don’t go your way, ask yourself if this battle aligns with your values. If it does, it’s worth your energy. If it isn’t, let it go.

Let things go

It’s one thing to say you accept something, but really letting go is easier said than done. While it may be tempting, rehashing old wrongs can make you look and feel like a victim and prevent you from moving on. 

Accept—then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.

Eckhart Tolle

This week, once you’ve decided to let something go, don’t keep going back and revisiting it. Put that energy into creating a plan to move forward.

Look beyond the current crisis

I’ve said this before but it bears repeating. When faced with a roadblock, ask yourself whether you’ll care about this in a week, a month or a year. That might help you decide how to handle the situation.

For life’s big challenges, look for ways to turn the situation into a positive. With the benefit of hindsight, it’s easy to look back on how my cancer diagnosis changed my life for the better. At the time, I had to remind myself that it was an opportunity to spend more time with my family. It also gave me a new perspective on what was important in life.  

When faced with a crisis, ask yourself how you’d like to look back on it in the future. Then, let that guide your actions in the present.

Have you found peace through acceptance? How did you do it? Tell me your stories below.